"Sometimes nothing you do makes any difference"
Holy crap. Not again. After I got railed in the AFC Peach State Open in Open Epee, I figured I had a shot at my D in the E and Under. Of course, it was a D1 - which meant I had to win. And I got close, too close. I handly won my pool, in fact there was only one match I didn't dominate - the final. At 14-13 in my favor, I went for one final fleche to end it all, and came up short. At 14-14, I tried to set up an opening for a wrist flick/touch that never came.
The sense of failure was overwhelming. I was so upset, I drove home in a huff and nearly put my fist through my car window. Thank God I bought a boxing dummy... I put on Limp Biskit's "Break Stuff" (only one of three LB songs worth listening to) and screamed and roared and beat on the thing until I was too tired to be angry.
The worst was that no one seemed to think I fenced poorly, it simply just wasn't my day. I made some mistakes - like trying to run up the score when I was already two touches ahead, or not playing to my strengths and just beating her around - but nothing incredibly fatal.
I am sure I will be fine in time for the Dundwoody FC March Wind - but the sense of frustration and need for self-destruction is hard to contain. I'd get drunk, but I have work tomorrow.