It's About GD Time

Right now I don't feel a sense of accomplishment. I only feel relief. For a week, no drinking, light meals, working out and fencing every night (even at home when class was unavailable), because God forbid I tell all the girls in Miami I am coming to visit this summer and I don't even qualify. Right now I am reminded of the words of Captain John Paul Jones.

When an Enemy think a design against them improbable they can always be Surprised and Attacked with Advantage. - it is true I must run great risque - but no Gallant action was ever performed without danger - therefore, tho' I cannot insure Success I will endeavour to deserve it. (italics mine)

Well, praise God I did deserve it today. Even though the GA Division 2 Men's Epee Qualifier event was stacked with C's - I managed to hold on and didn't lose a bout until I reached the final four. Which means I qualify to go to Summer Nationals. And I finally got my D07 classification. Also, my club team, Dunwoody FC (The Coletrain)*, won Men's Epee today and we also qualify. Man, I really do have a ball down here in Statesboro.

Tommorow is Division 3 Men's Epee. Next stop, C07.

*Seriously... That's the name of the team. Not even my idea. Not sure how many folks in the club even read the website!

For Fun or Glory?

After a murderous pool performance, I finally battled back to reach the round of eight at the Fencing Fools tournament in Warner Robbins, GA. My record was 1/4 and I didn't even want to think about my indicator - until I win my first DE against a C2007. Then I learn that four of the five people in my pool (including myself) made the round of eight. So there is no one who can say I didn't have the toughest pool in the room. Unfortunately, I got knocked out by the top seed, an A2007, so a C was out of reach. But because of my crappy pool record, a D was out of reach as well - going to a guy who had a much easier pool and the voice of a 4 year old girl.

I was upset for at least a few days - even flirting with hot blondes and drinking tequila after the event did little to calm me down. It makes me wonder - what am I doing all this for? I love to fence, but winning makes me feel good, and glory makes me feel better. I am the kind of guy who is more inspired by praise than cash. I'm a guy who finds it hard to leave the group to hit on the lonely hottie at the bar when the older horny blonde woman is massaging my bald head.

Somedays I do this for exercise, some days I do it for fun... but on competition days, I do this to win - and when I don't, I feel like crap. There has got to be a better way to deal with these emotions while my subconscious waits for my body to start winning all the time.

Right now I am focusing on Divisionals. I want to qualify for Div2 and Div3 - but Div2 could be interesting. Having a D will help my initial seeding, which is why I am fencing in Vandy on Saturday. Wish me luck!

15-14 In the Final - So Close, Yet So Far

"Sometimes nothing you do makes any difference"

Holy crap. Not again. After I got railed in the AFC Peach State Open in Open Epee, I figured I had a shot at my D in the E and Under. Of course, it was a D1 - which meant I had to win. And I got close, too close. I handly won my pool, in fact there was only one match I didn't dominate - the final. At 14-13 in my favor, I went for one final fleche to end it all, and came up short. At 14-14, I tried to set up an opening for a wrist flick/touch that never came.

The sense of failure was overwhelming. I was so upset, I drove home in a huff and nearly put my fist through my car window. Thank God I bought a boxing dummy... I put on Limp Biskit's "Break Stuff" (only one of three LB songs worth listening to) and screamed and roared and beat on the thing until I was too tired to be angry.

The worst was that no one seemed to think I fenced poorly, it simply just wasn't my day. I made some mistakes - like trying to run up the score when I was already two touches ahead, or not playing to my strengths and just beating her around - but nothing incredibly fatal.

I am sure I will be fine in time for the Dundwoody FC March Wind - but the sense of frustration and need for self-destruction is hard to contain. I'd get drunk, but I have work tomorrow.